When I came back from my lunch break, I opened the office door and was bombarded with a multitude of tiny "cheeep cheeep, cheeeeeps". It was hard to disguise the confusion and annoyance on my face as I rounded the corner where the noises were coming from. There was a customer at the front desk, so I curbed my first reaction to say "What the hell is all that noise?" Instead I looked at my staff and raised my eyebrows questioningly. They proceeded to point at a box on one girls desk and as I removed the paper from the top I discovered the cutest little fuzzy baby chick. I petted its' head and said "Awwww how cute!" But I began to realize that there were other sounds coming from around the office. I went to my office and there sat upon my desk, an identicle box (except without a piece of paper covering the top). I looked inside and lo and behold there was another cute little fuzzy baby chick. I picked it up and cuddled it as it shook uncontrollably and the tiny baby proceeded to drift off to sleep in the palm of my hand. The customer finally left and what was my next reaction?
"WHO THE HELL BROUGHT THESE TO THE OFFICE?"
Everyone pointed at the only testosterone driven person in the office. My office mate George, thought it would be a nice gesture to bring all of us girls a baby chick today for Easter.
I scowled at him. "Are you insane?" I asked him. I glared at him "I can't take this home. I have 3 cats and a dog. And I'm sure there is a city ordinance regarding farm animals..."
He says and I'm quoting this "Well, maybe your cats will eat it. OR... You can raise it until it gets bigger and cook it."
*turns several shades of green*
You see, if I ever consider where my food comes from before I eat it? I wouldn't be a fat girl. I physically feel ill if I think about an actual chicken or cow before I eat one. I've added all these pounds onto my body over the years not thinking about what my food looked like before it died.
Fortunately one of the other girls said she would take mine home with hers. I asked her if she realized that these cute little babies would grow up to be big ugly chickens. She says "Well, yeah. Then you eat them."
I sat and listened to 5 baby chicks trying to out "cheeep" each other until I thought I was going to pass out from a migrane. I finally got up, put them all in one box together and now they are sleeping quietly.
Word of advice to everyone on my flist: "Don't ever give animals as gifts. They are often looked upon as burdens rather than joys. A card can mean so much more at a time of celebration."